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The IQ

Many years ago, late 1990’s I think, a big craze about IQ started and a lot of shows were on TV where you could test your IQ. Other shows had segments about intelligence and what the IQ is. It was in magazines, in the papers, and all over the internet.

IQ, as per definition, means Intelligence Quotient.

So what happens in an IQ test is this:
You solve little puzzles, memorize things, answer questions, etc.
It depends a little on where you do the test and who created it.
But in the end you will receive a score that depends on how well you did at solving all the exercises. The score will be an average.

I see a few problems with this system of ranking people and even countries.

  1. It is an average so it does not actually show a number that is representative. Not even by a far stretch.
  2. If you have an average IQ for a big group of people, it is even less representative. It gets worse, the bigger the group.
  3. Why define your own intelligence by a number that averages different fields.
  4. All tests are different. And I mean completely different. In scoring, in types of problems, and in areas being tested.

Why am I so critical about this, you may ask.

Intelligence is something that can get lower or higher, depending on how much you work your grey matter.
You can be massively intelligent in one area and close to retardation in another. So how does your IQ (the average of all the areas being tested) matter at all? Do you function? Can you breath, work, understand? Are you able to learn? Can you adjust to your environment?
Those are the important questions.

I have gone through several IQ tests: At school, at the psychologist, on the Internet, at Mensa, etc etc. Every single test was completely different. And I scored pretty much everything on the scale from 65 to 150.

My score of 65 was the score of my mathematical understanding for example.
But in another test, my mathematical score was 150. So… what now?
While 65 is an extremely low score, pretty much retardation, 150 is extremely high, pretty much genius.
So what the hell am I? A retarded genius?
As a matter of fact, the way it was tested was different in both. And while one way of testing was simple for me, the other one was not.
In reality, my mathematical skills let me navigate everyday life just fine. I add, substract, multiply, divide… Like a 4th-grader. I don’t need more. I understand a few more concepts, but really, whatever I was supposed to understand after 5th grade (many moons ago), it was useless for my life and I forgot it all within a matter of minutes.

My usual average IQ score was always somewhere between 120 and 130. This is still considered above average but my above-average-scores have never helped me finding a job. In real life, no one is interested in your IQ because it really does not tell your future employer if you can do the job. How many completely un-intelligent people have studied and became lawyers and doctors? There is a difference between being book smart and life smart.

Try to think about this:

The lowest average IQs that I was able to find online (please use google, I am too lazy to link stuff atm) were in some parts of Africa with an average of about 70. The highest IQ scores by country. with an average around 99, I found in Asia. And right in the middle of the two extremes were places like Europe or Australia.

How do patterns of triangles or great language skills matter to the person living the middle of Sahara desert? They need other skills, and those skills are not being measured in those IQ tests. That same person with the very low IQ, would probably do just fine surviving that rough life in the desert, because maybe they do well with simple tasks that always stay the same like find water, care for the camels, build a tent, etc.

In places like Japan though, those skills are not needed. School and work 6 days a week and very intense. You will only succeed in live if you keep passing tests well and if you are able to think in those specific ways, that an IQ test checks.

Ok, done.

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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Just a number

Hi there, I am a number and you are too.

Well maybe more a mixture of different numbers.

I have been thinking for a while and for some reason it is just that.

We are all just numbers on papers and neat excel sheets. We are numbers in private live and at work. We are numbers and it is getting annoying that it seems that only those numbers count in my life.

Privately, this is what I am:

  • I am 31 years old.
  • I was born in 1984
  • I am 1.75m tall
  • I weigh in at 94.3 kg after losing 10 kg
  • Currently I eat 1300 kcal a day
  • I eat 2 meal replacements, 3 snacks, and 1 home cooked meal per day
  • My dinner consists of max 600 kcal
  • I sleep 6-7 hours a day on weekdays
  • I sleep 10 hours a day on weekends and holidays
  • In 2015 I spent about 2000 Euro on vacation (I went on one expensive and one cheap vacation)
  • In 2016 I have been depressed once for 3 days so far
  • I own 2 pairs of shoes
  • My rent is 800 Euro a month
  • My phone contract plus rate is 53 Euro a month
  • I pay 10 Euro electricity per week

This is me in LoL:

  • My CS is 60-80 by 10 min
  • All the items bought in a game mount up to roughly 11k gold
  • I play with 4 team mates
  • I play against 5 players
  • Each normal minion wave has 6 minions
  • I want to kill 5 dragons per game
  • I  kill 1 baron per game
  • I  get 2 red buffs a game when playing ADC
  • I have 3 stealth wards up at a time when playing support
  • I have 1 pink ward up at all times

This is me professionally:

  • I take 10 – 20 calls from customers per day
  • I call back average 5 customers a day
  • I have received 3 dsats in 6 months (that is a low number btw)
  • I close 20 – 28 tickets per week (above target)
  • I open and forward aprox 10 – 20 technical tickets a week
  • My average handling time on the phone is 7 min and 23 seconds which is 17 seconds better than target.
  • I spend 2 hours a day commuting to and from work
  • I have 20 days of PTO per year
  • I work 40 hours a week

So you see what I mean?

Yes you are more than numbers, but for some reason we do tend to define ourselves and others by a lot of bullshit numbers, or not? Are they not a little bit bullshit?

How about seeing the person as a whole and maybe sometimes take a step back from the numbers. And this counts for normal everyday interactions in private life as much as for the professional world.

I get it. Sometimes numbers are needed. Especially in specific lines of work. But there is a healthy and an unhealthy amount of focus on the numbers.

For all the managers out there (and one in particular, let’s call him “J”):
How about the realisation that behind that mountain of numbers, there are real people. Those real people have real lives, desires, and abilities outside of the number you attach to them. And little hint: The more un-needed pressure you put on them, the more frequently they will get sick. That is a fact. Sick people can’t perform and training new people is costly. You are damaging yourself ;)

 
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Posted by on January 21, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

About studying and life and a pickle

So if you saw my last post with the wishlist, you saw the points about getting into online marketing and video editing a little more. Mainly because I would love my Youtube channels to grow. All three of them. But how? Right?

Over all, whatever I end up studying, I would like it to be something I enjoy studying, and something that might even help me in my career, looking forward.

So after some thinking I thought about Media Studies and I have just started to look into where to study that around here, what it would cost, and what courses etc etc. The stuff you gotta look up if you wanna go back to school.

I then also talked to my husband. And I love him to bits, he does keep my feet on the ground. But he has this habit of probing. Basically he will ask me questions to have me think, maybe just answer for myself, etc. Just so I won’t jump into something that sounds nice for five minutes and then drop it.

The problem is that this is the exact same way that was used on my all my life in order to stop me from achieving any goals that I wanted to achieve.
Very early on I had in my mind to become a psychologist or veterinarian. Both Psychology and animals have always been interesting to me and especially animals, up to this day, are something I would love to work with day in day out. But we were dirt poor. Buying certain books for high school was already almost too much so of course uni wasn’t anywhere close to possible. The money was the main reason why, at 13 years old, I decided to move one school type lower, because we wouldn’t have to buy so many things for school there. (Yes my mother left this kind of decision up to me completely)

So I had to find a new thing to be passionate about. I had always loved music and was very talented but didn’t really see that as a career for myself.
So what will I do with my life? What is my goal? At 14 / 15 you are supposed to choose what career path you want to go down.
I decided on computer science, although it would be incredibly hard for me because the branch that taught computer science at my school, was the same branch that had a heavy focus on maths and I am really not a maths person.

Guess what, my mom talked me out of it. We had no computer and no money to get one. No matter how much I loved computers, consoles, and all of it, there was no way to do it financially. And apparently the fact that there was a computer room for me to go and study didn’t matter because maths… Well.

So I looked into less conventional things, while moving onto the art branch of my school (that btw head the same heavy focus on maths as the computer science, but fuck logic).

I had always been invested into everything circus. I was juggling, I went on stage as a clown regularly, I had started to ride the unicycle, I was sporty and knew some acrobatics. I followed circus competitions and volunteered at circus project.
So I thought, I would love to go to the circus. I would not get rich with it but I would become happy. I still believe that to this day but the time to make it true is over.
Of course I was not encouraged to go to the circus.

So I thought about going to the sea. I was into ships and boats and into sailing. I was a great swimmer, and as I mentioned very fit. My graduation class had a graduation trip to the Netherlands to go sailing for a week. And I loved it. I learnt, I spoke to the skipper about possibly getting on his ship when he needs a Maat, etc. I told my teacher that if he hears back from the skipper to please let me know. And low and behold, two months later he told me that the skipper was now looking for a Maat and he gave me the phone number. I spoke to my mom about it and who discouraged me again?
I was 18 years old, in my last year of school. I wasn’t going to graduate because of maths and chemistry. I wasn’t willing to repeat the year either at 18 years old.
My mother wanted to see me as a pre-school teacher but that school would only take me with a graduation. So I had to do the long way. Go for child care assistant. Work for two years, then go back to school.
Turns out I stopped after child care assistant and worked 4 years before leaving the profession. Don’t get me wrong, I am really good at being a child care assistant. But it is not what I ever wanted to achieve. I studied it so I have a job, not because I wanted it.

I am now the age where I can make my own decisions and as long as I can finance the uni / college, I feel I should go for it.
Sometimes I feel my time is running out. My life is just slowly starting to become stable. There is so much I want to do with my life. Study, children, travel, animals, house, hobbies, etc.
I want to invest time into studying especially because I love learning new things. I just feel that I get too many hurdles.

My husband and I talked it through, and I pretty much got his blessing after a very long talk. But I just don’t have thousands and thousands of euro just laying on my bedside table, waiting to be spent.
I guess I am in a bit of a pickle…

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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The Wishlist

So the new year has begun and I have a wishlist.

Really no new year’s resolutions because I always fail mine and I am sure a lot of you have the same problem.

In reality I have very hopeful and maybe even realistic wishes.

One example for a wishlist is the one that my husband and I made for the ideal flat that we want to find this year:

wishlist

But there are other things I would like. And here is my little wishlist for the year:

  • Lose another 15 kilo (already lost 9)
  • Leave either the department or find a new job
  • Learn Swedish better
  • Become Gold in LoL
  • Cosplay Aiden Pearse
  • Get my youtube going
  • Look into online marketing
  • Improve video editing skills
  • Become Level 13 at Ingress
  • Write LARP for Leprecon
  • Write RPG for friends and I
  • Start bi-weekly game-and-coma-eating-nights again (once we have a new flat)
  • Calculate what building a house costs (all in all) versus comparable house ready to buy
  • Keep breathing

That being said, have a great 20016 and may all the wishes on your wishlist come true! 

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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Being an Ex-Vegan

So recently, while looking for recipes on YouTube, I stumbled upon some vegan videos. And some of them hit me very hard because the vegans in those videos were so hard-core world saving judgemental preachers.

All these inclination that everything non-vegan is unhealthy, horrible, ethically unacceptable, and deadly.

A few examples of statements by such vegans without name shaming:

  • Calling fresh meat, sold in a supermarket “rotting animal corpse”
  • Stating that the anti baby pill is deadly
  • Stating that condoms are not vegan
  • Saying that everybody who eats meat is ignorant
  • Calling someone who is vegan for a non-ethical reason not a “real vegan”
  • Calling vegans who allow themselves a cheat day or cheat meal not “real vegans”

And then there are Ex-Vegans who stopped with these eating habits who will explain how all the problems they faced are due to their vegan life style. Like deficiencies, feeling unfit, cravings, disorders, etc.

So I saw this video just a few minutes ago. “A Vegan’s Take on Ex-Vegans” and at first I expected to get angry. I thought she would be another one of those obnoxious idiots. But it turned out that she was a very reasonable person with very good points. I linked the video below so you can watch it if you want.

Here is my take on the Ex-Vegan “thing” and why I am not vegan any more:

I never decided to be a vegan. I had been a vegetarian for about 4 years when I moved into my first own place and finally I had internet. I had been a vegetarian because honestly, I just don’t like the taste of meat too much. I also always disliked the way animals were treated. Those two things combined just got me to not eating meat. I include all animals in the category meat. So therefore birds, fish, and seafood are meat in my book.
At the time I would still eat Eggs, things with gelatine, soup stock, etc.

Once I moved, as I said, I finally had internet. So this was one of things I started looking into a bit more. This combined with the fact that naturally I was buying almost exclusively plant based foods. The only animal product, when it comes to food, that I ever bought, were eggs from the local farmer who came to my block with his truck once a week.

I also had two cats and they received a meat-based diet of course. They got the cat food from the supermarket, they got some nice pieces from the butcher as a treat, they got a bit of white yoghurt once in a while, etc.
And after having read articles today, that there are vegans out there, who feed their carnivores a vegan diet:
You are irresponsible assholes. Do your fucking research before getting a pet. A carnivore who does not get meat will die. And you will be the reason. Get a rabbit or gunieapig, you fucking idiot!
You cannot argue with how humans deal with cutting out on meat because humans have a different physique and they are omnivores. Humans evolved to eat everything including meat so they are usually fine, cutting out meat.

Now in my case, as I was buying plant based foods anyway, it was no big step for me to commit to a vegan lifestyle. Because I did not want to support any animal cruelty, I cut out everything that, to my knowledge, kills animals. Therefore I started reading labels and would cut out certain soup stocks, certain jellies (because gelatin), and so on. I also stopped looking at leather and fur products (real stuff). If I wanted the look, I was going for faux leather.

On this eating style I was very healthy. I knew exactly what my body needs and how to provide those nutrients through a vegan “diet”. But, as you might have figured, I was not a health nut, I was not involved in any movement, forum, or so. I was also not an activist and did not feel the need to “educate” everybody. I just lived it. When I was visiting people, I would tell them that I am vegetarian (as vegan was not a big known thing at the time) and I would stick to the things I deemed “save”. In restaurants I would ask if there are animal products in a meal. For example in a sauce or so and usually the chef would always be so nice to make me a sauce that would suit me.
But I continued consuming products that don’t kill and I would consume them from local farmers. For example eggs or honey. I bought these products only directly from the farmer and not in a supermarket. This way I knew that no animal suffered for it.

But why did I stop at some point?

Well I was at a very low point in my life and someone had offered to take me in. They offered me to help me in different ways and I took the offer. They knew I was a “vegetarian” and ensured me that they would be fine to provide me with food that is suitable for me. And they actually lived up to this but the fact that this always caused more work (cooking two meals, shopping for them got more complicated, cleaning up after all the cooking, checking back with me all the time) I felt like my choice was asking too much of the good people who took me in. I did not want to cause all this trouble that no one complained about but that was very obvious.
So one day we went to the city and we got to one of those hot dog stands or whatever sausages they had there. I was hungry anyway and I said, “Let’s go and buy a sausage, I wanna try.” And we talked it through. I said “It’s fine. I wanna see if I can still have it.” blabla etc. In my mind I just wanted to find out what my body will say to a meat product.
Let’s just keep in mind that at this point I had not eaten any meat for the past 8 years.
20 Minutes after eating the sausage I started to feel very bloated and gassy. An hour after eating the sausage I started being in so much pain that I did not know how to lay down for it to hurt less.
But my mind was set. I wanted things to be less complicated with these good people who took me in. So I carefully brought meat back into my diet until at some point it caused no problems any longer.

This was 6 years ago and I am not living with these people any more.

So why still eat meat?

Well I found my love while living there. And leaving those people, I moved in right with my love (who is now my husband). He is not just a meat eater, he is a meat lover. His whole family branch strives on meat. He can do without but he will feel very unwell, no matter how good the “un-meaty” food, you provide, is. It can be tasty and provide all the nutrients to him and he can love it but he will feel unwell after a short time.
In addition, because I asked him at some point, he also doesn’t deal well with processed soy products. (Which was proven multiple times when he had it anyway because it is tasty. Soon after he would have to spend hours on the toilet.) So the amount of food needed in his case to make up for the missing high value proteins, would be crazy. I cannot afford that, sorry. I can also not afford to buy properly for two different food-styles. I do not have the space to store everything I would need and everything he needs. And I also don’t have the time to cook for both every day if it has to be one vegan and one omnivore.

I still don’t eat a lot of meat and the few times I prepare it, I handle it with care and respect. It is the least I can do. My mindset is still vegan, if that makes any sense.

The one thing that gives me hope, is the fact that we started managing our money a little differently now. So each of us gets their own amount of money per week to shop for foods. So that is making things easier because I don’t have to worry about shopping for him any more. And I do actually not buy any meat or things that kill animals.
Now I will be going on the Slimfast diet and that will have me buy even less. I can cut out on proteins for the time being because they will be provided by the meal replacements. And in the evening I can indulge in rice with veggies, smoothies, salads, and all those fine things :D

So knowing how there can be so many reason why someone might stop being a vegan (and usually none of them ignorance), it really pisses me off to be judged by those 18 year old kiddies who don’t know real life yet but have to convert the world to what is the best thing ever in their opinion. They generalize, provide half-truth, do not research their stuff properly, and still think they know it all. Really annoying.

So that was my take on this whole topic.

Here is the video I talked about earlier, as promised.

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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Child support / Keeping a child

I just watched this video on youtube and got thinking.
Here is the video, and below it my thoughts on the questions in the end:

On keeping a baby or not:
I think both parents have a say and need to make a rational decision together. If she wants to keep it no matter what, then the father should at least have the right to formally decline his parent-ship. And why? Because she is obviously ignoring his part in this, she is making the decision alone, so now she needs to own up to it. I think this is an option in Germany already, but correct me if I am wrong.
And it only gets difficult the other way around when he wants to keep it but she does not. After all no one has the right to force a woman to carry out a pregnancy that she doesn’t want just as no one has a right to force her to an abortion. Both a pregnancy and an abortion are serious health risks, obviously for different reasons. So you cannot force a person to take the risk that you want them to take. It is their body and they get to decide which risk they are willing to take.
Tadaa condoms / the pill / the pill after / bisectomy / …. Yes all of those can fail (and if they do, you can still deal with that), but at least be responsible as much as you can until both of you are ready for a child in case you want one.

On keeping a baby but later on not paying the support:
So if the decision for both parents at the time was to keep the baby but one day the parents separate/divorce and now one of them should be but is not paying child support, then this is a dick-move. You both need to own up to the responsibility of having a child, no matter if you separated or not because you are still BOTH the parents and it is about the children and their well-being. Seriously, do you fall out of love with your children when you fall out of love with your partner? Come on.

In my case, when I was little:
Here is the thing, as I mentioned above, still both are the parents. The children usually live with one parent, whilst the other one has to pay child support and that makes sense. Usually the amount depends on living standard and what the other parent can actually pay. In my opinion an amount of 50-100 Euro per week and per child is realistic and reasonable because children cost money and one parent alone is unlikely to be able to carry that on top of all the normal bills and especially when it’s more than one child.
In my case, I have 2 brothers who were very very difficult as children and teenagers. So my mother had to quit her jobs or lost them because of them. So now she usually tried to hold jobs but most of the time she could not because of them and therefore we were always very short on money. No new shoes, or jeans, or anything really. My father never paid his child support. He would give me 50 euro for my birthday or send a present. So that is once a year and only for me. Nothing for my brothers ever. So how is that a just behaviour? He gave his sperm, he made a concious decision to keep us together with my mom, but once they were not together any more, he would drop EVERYTHING including his children and we were always close to starving because of it.
Sure my case is extreme and there are probably a lot of families where the missing child support is not a big issue. Maybe it is only one child or all the kids are good and the parent, they live with, can hold a job that pays well, etc. But the fact that the other parents simply opts out of being a parent, that is a dick move and it creates only suffering. The child feels unloved by that parent and might actually go hungry because of that missing money.

 
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Posted by on December 26, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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An Atheist Christmas

So I thought, especially for those people, who are still wondering, how an Atheist would celebrate Christmas if they don’t believe in God/Jesus.

Here is how my husband and I are doing it:

I got lucky this year and was able to take the whole Christmas week off. Even Thursday and Friday before, I was already off work.
I had started ordering the presents for my husband early to make sure that they will be here in time. The gifts arrived when I was home sick with a pretty bad lung infection. But I still wanted to go and pick them up so that is what I did.

Once I got off work I started decorating a little bit here and there. Got those candles where every Sunday towards Christmas you light one more. Got a tree and put some nice ornaments on it. The tree topper became a tree middler because it did not fit on the tip. Here is a picture:
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Last Thursday (18th), we went to the Christmas market and had some fun, trying new things and looking at other things. Here are some pictures:

Then last Friday I started planning on what I wanted to bake in terms of cookies and other goodies. This past Monday I wanted to make a tricky type of cookie that did not come out as intended but it is still tasty. I had to run some ideas by my mom, who I bothered with baking questions and ideas via Facebook.

Saturday and Sunday I really just ran numbers to ensure we can afford everything and so on. Normal stuff when your pay comes in. Apart from that we were planning on how we would spend the week, when to cook what, when to do shopping, etc.
Just a normal weekend to be honest. Borrowed a guitar from a friend so I got to make some music. Also did a good amount of gaming and fell into bed at 2 am.

Monday we went out for a pint. My husband is studying some stuff and there is always a nice big meet-up when the term ends. So we went there and we went early because there was a lot of nice Christmas stuff in that town. Here are two pictures:

Tuesday I wanted to bake a little more but I got caught up in shopping for ingredients and cleaning up. So I only made one type of cookies. In the end of the day I just played a bit and then went to bed.

Wednesday I went completely nuts with the food preparation.
We have a little tradition, my man and I. One of the days surrounding Christmas, I will make my Christmas chicken, and one of those days he will make some kind of meat-filled cabbage rolls (traditional to where he comes from).
So I got up around 12 noon and set up two cookie doughs. It sounds more than it is because I just split the dough and put cocoa in one half. I then had egg whites left over from the day before and decided that I will make baiser (stiff whipped egg white with sugar in it, dried in the oven) from that. So I prepared it, put it in the oven, set a timer to 90 minutes, and went out to get a chicken.
Once back, I started to prepare the chicken and it was ready for the oven just when the baiser was done.
So the chicken went in and I had ground almonds at home so I decided to make marzipan. It is actually very easy so I did that. The marzipan has to rest for two hours so the flavours come out properly before you continue. So now I had two cookie doughs and the marzipan all in the bathroom (coldest room in the house) to rest, because my fridge was (and still is) so full that nothing else will fit in there.
The chicken took about 3 hours and came out delicious but here is the thing. The chicken went in at about 6pm so it was done around 9pm. That was one late dinner. I still had to clean that mess up and finish the cookies.
Of course the marzipan was done at some point so I could finish my little coated marzipan balls during the day, between brushing the chicken and cleaning the house.
But now it was almost 10pm and I wanted to finish those cookies. So I went to play, of course :D Around 11 I put the cookies in the oven and they were cold and glazed and dried by about 2pm.

Today, Christmas eve, yes we do Christmas eve on 24th in the evening.
Everything was just relaxed. Got up about 12 noon again and prepared some breakfast: Croissants, bacon, eggs. Messed up my waffle iron with the eggs because yes, I waffled the scrambled egg thing but it was too much egg so it came out on the sides. Took me forever to clean that mess up.
After that, I set up a nice platter with cookies and ginger bread and such nice things.
Here is a picture:
20151224_145548Played a little, listened to music. The husband started cooking his thing at some point and it was done around 7pm. I brought some to our friend and neighbour who declined an invitation for dinner because he is sick.
When the man stepped out of the flat for a few minutes to hack some portals (playing ingress) I had Santa come and put the presents under the tree. So once he came back, he wanted to have santa come and put presents under the tree too, so I was banned from the kitchen (“Don’t you have something to do in the bathroom?!”)
So we exchanged some pretty cool presents. Sadly I was not able to get the right size of the chef-jacket I got for him, so we will have to see what we do about that. I guess I will buy another one at a store in the city with him to come along and try it on.
I received parts for my Aiden Pearce cosplay and a Watchdogs bag.
After that, we set up our traditional “bed-picknick” to watch movies and do some coma eating:
20151224_200454

So as you can see. Apart from all the religious parts missing, an Atheist Christmas is pretty much the same as Christmas in a religious family.
Music, tree, good food, family, friends, visiting the market, shopping, gifts, and lots of love.

Now to end this post even nicer, here is some very very nice Atheist Christmas Carol by Vienna Teng:

 
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Posted by on December 25, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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