Monthly Archives: May 2014

annoying shares on facebook

You know what types of shares on facebook annoy me the most?

  • Pseudo philosophic bullshit
  • “Help xyz”-memes
  • “like this if you support xyz”
  • “share this if you support xyz”
  • Links to spam / hijack websites
  • Selfies
  • Dr. Who – references
  • Propaganda
  • Religious bullshit
  • Sharing every single image that you see on the internet that evening

The thing is, that no matter how smart some people are, they will still fall for a lot of bullshit and they will have to SHARE IT WITH EVERYBODY!

No, I do not want to become a vegan now.
No, I do not think that your god is great.
No, I will not share this because she is pretty.
No, I will not click like because I am against racism.
No, I am not interested in the latest beauty trend.
No, I will not become an activist for “international whatever-day/week/month”

You know, it is not like I have no opinions about things. I just don’t feel like I need to share my opinion about every little fucking thing with everybody on my friend list. Especially not on facebook.

Why would I force things like my political views, my view on child education, every joke I ever heard or anything else down my friend’s throats?

The problem is, that these people are nice and usually reasonably smart. They post good stuff as well. Great news articles, books, science, music, etc.

But then they go on a bullshit sharing spree.


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Posted by on May 31, 2014 in Uncategorized


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LoL brainfucked


I got LoL start of season 3 or something like that. Not sure.

I played around up to level 20 or 21 and then I met people who would help me. They would help me by explaining some simple things to me. Those things stuck. (stuff about mechanics, theory, warding, etc).

So basically my brain is somewhere in gold but my skill is not. Of course not. I am not investing super super much time into the game. I play 2-4 matches per evening and only recently started to concentrate more on ranked.

The problem is that some people – well a lot of people – who play solo ranked with me are not gold in their brain. They are really bronze.
What do I mean by that?

  • Who in their right mind would win a teamfight and then go dragon instead of pushing a tower?
  • Who would concentrate on counterpicking in BRONZE instead of playing the champion you are actually good with?
  • Who would go kill wolves when there is a team fight right next to them in mid lane?
  • Who would keep saying “OMG my team is so bad” when they lost their lane as well.
  • Who would tell his team “Build armour they only have AD” when the enemy has two ap champions > one with a blue build (oh yea, blue build is confusing ๐Ÿ˜€ I forgot)

This and so much more is …
You know, now I am a very patient person and sometimes I actually try to reason. The trouble is the big ego of many people. Instead of listening and trying to learn, they will close their minds. And because they die in this match, they will get angry instead of trying to find out why they died so much.

So here a few tips:

  • When you die a lot aka feed, it is 99% your own fault that you died.
  • Check the minimap ALL THE TIME
  • Blame nobody but yourself, usually there is something you could have done better
  • Practice new champions in bot games or normals NOT IN RANKED
  • Don’t panic-ping the map. One or two pings for one issue is enough.
  • If somebody doesn’t do what you say, stop telling them what to do.
  • Don’t say “I mute you.” Just do it.
  • Don’t say “Report my team” That will get you reported (it is against the summoner’s coat!)
  • Take a moment to say “Thanks” to your Support for saving your ass.
  • Take a moment to say “Thanks” to your Jungler for ganking your lane.
  • Buy a ward!

These are just a few hints. I know I am bronze myself but how about leaving your ego behind, just like I have to do it. How about trying to learn, apply yourself, and stop being an arse.
No raging, blaming, or flaming will get you out of bronze. The only thing that can get you out of bronze is your own attitude.

I personally am working on it. My map awareness has gotten a lot better, I ping and usually listen to ping. I tend to make good calls when I play with bronze / silver players. When I play with anybody really high ranked, I tend to listen to them A LOT because they can actually teach me stuff.

One thing that I have been recently taught was looking at my own damage output and calculate that when I chase and such things. It is actually useful but I keep forgetting. It’ll get better but it’s just one of those pro tips that can help a lot during teamfights and so on.
I will keep getting tips and help and I will keep learning from my mistakes while a lot of the ragers will get stuck in the so-called “elo hell” that is just an excuse for lazy people.

So yeah, @ the ragers out there. Have fun staying down there in bronze, while I will start climbing that elo ladder. I’ll send you a postcard when I reach the top and you are still down there flaming your teams.

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Posted by on May 26, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Stuck in Bronze?


I play League of Legends as you know from my Gaming sub-site.
I love that game, sorry. I really really love that game. It’s very fun and I have a lot of nice people I can play it with.

Most of the people I play with are very high ranked. I am talking Platinum and Diamond ranks. Although playing with them can get frustrating at time, I learn a lot more with them than I learn when I play with people of my own rank.

I am currently in Bronze and I have a problem. I am losing my promo series all the time. This is how it happens. I don’t lose a single game until I am in series, and once I have my promo matches I start losing.

I have no fucking idea why I am always losing in my promo matches but it is getting frustrating.

Now I am playing support most of the time. As support I know exactly what I have to do. I know how to position myself, how to take care of my ADC and later on of my whole team. I like it. Mostly playing Soraka and Karma. They are great for supporting. I love it.
I also have a duo partner. He had a bit more time so he is in Silver 5 right now, while I am still in Bronze 4.
About two weeks ago I was Bronze 3 and on the way to Bronze 2. Suddenly I lost 3 games in a row, got demoted, and now I am so pissed.

I have been in series twice since. Once last week and once today. I lost my series again today. I am getting so frustrated.

What do I do to get better?
Watching pro guides and gameplay on streams and youtube. Watching LCS for fun too > Go Dyrus, Go Dyrus! ๐Ÿ˜€
Apart from that I enjoy learning from higher ranked players who take the time to invite me to games. I take the advice and I am really really trying hard to implement all of the advice and hints and tips I get.

My positioning and poking has sky rocketed since a friend took me under his wing and I feel more confident in team fights. Yes, I do get caught out of position sometimes. Shit happens. I am not raging > ever. I am not muting either because even the worst rager might sometimes say something important in the chat.
I ping and listen to pings. I know how to build and counter build.
Apart from Support I am also ok mid and top. The only position I really fail on is jungle and usually I don’t have to jungle because there are people who actually like to jungle.

I still lose. Well I only lose my promo matches… Does anybody know how that can be? Why is it only the promo matches? Really …


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Posted by on May 23, 2014 in Uncategorized


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“Everything will be ok!”


I find these kind of shares on my facebook pretty much all the time. It is SO annoying. All the whining and crying around. About everything. And then you see those “memes” that aren’t even memes as per definition. They say this pseudo philosophic or psychologic smart ass shit that nobody would want to hear if they were told in person. But as a “meme” that’s ok.

All the crying around is so fucking annoying. And after every whining session and wall of text about how bad someone feels, the good old “Everything will be ok!” follows up.

I am not a whiny person… Is that just me? I mean, yeah I tell you guys stuff here on the blog. But I actually just tell things. I am never crying around about anything. That being said, of course I feel down and bad at times.
Hey, you know what? I don’t run around rubbing it under everybody’s noses, making it everbody’s problem. How selfish is that? I feel bad, now I need to pull everybody else down as well?

If you are really having a problem, talk to an actual friend of yours or seek help. But stop whining already. Wow…

And by the way:
No everything is not always going to be alright. That’s life. Deal with it. Life isn’t fair, and sometimes things turn out shit. You know what you should do in that case? Get back on your feet and move the fuck on.


Rant over, thanks for ignoring.

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Posted by on May 21, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Anti-Islam vs. racism


A few things I stumbled across, just so those who have no clue what I am going to talk about, know what’s going on:

Now these are just a few of the recent headlines and troubles the UK faces lately.

Islam is a very young religion and generally behaves childish. Yes, I just said that. Why, you might ask. Well when Christianity was the age of Islam nowadays, Christians behaved the exact same way. Trying to force their religion on everybody everywhere they went. But Christianity grew up during the past few hundret years and in its place we see Islam nowadays.
People are leaving the Christian faith but they are not yet leaving Islam. Islam is young, and it seems so nice when you first hear about.
The religion of peace where everybody (based on sex) has a specific role. You are being told that everybody is valued and there are lots of nice things they tell you.
But looking at reality, at what Islam and it’s laws does to society, I cannot agree, sorry.

What Islam does:
Spread (fine, whatever) > force their rules on others by playing the racist-card (not fine with that)

If you don’t let our wives run around with a burka, that’s racist.
If you don’t butcher animals the way we do (Halal), that’s racist.
If you make the Muslim sales-guy sell Alcohol, that’s racist.
If you don’t send your child on a religious (Islam themed) school trip, that’s racist.
If you make my Muslim female doctor wash her hands before treating me, that’s racist.
If you disagree with female and/or male genital mutilation, that’s racist.
If you ask me to talk English in a shop, in an English speaking country, that’s racist.
If you refuse business to me because I don’t speak your language in your country, that’s racist.

Tell you what, Muslims.

How about you move into a country where all your rules and requirements are met to perfection. Go to Malaysia or Egypt for example. You get your Halal, you get shariah law, your women are being treated like children, you even get the call to pray 5 times a day. Go there and be happy.

It is not racist when people do not want to follow the rules of your RELIGION!

You know, none of the above is about your “race” your country or whatever, it is all about your religion. Don’t act like a child, when people refuse to follow your dogma. Grow up.

For your information, at anybody reading this, I am highly anti-islam while I am absolutely no racist at all. I am actually anti-religion alltogether but I am still no racist.
I get along with pretty much everybody UNLESS somebody starts preaching to me or starts forcing their religion down my throat. That is when I get pissed and I will voice it > be it Islam or anything else.

You see, I don’t have children yet, but I will make VERY sure that once I have children, they will not be forced on religios school trips based on “if you don’t go, you get a racist note in your file”.
Also, I used to like Subway very much. They lost me as a customer. I don’t care if muslims don’t want to buy there if they sell pork. If they don’t like pork, how about not ordering it? Or is that too simple?
Oh and by the way, it is not “Islamophobic” to disagree with your dogma.

Opinions and comments are very welcome (including those from Muslims) but I would like to remind everybody who did not read my disclaimer, that I will not approve comments (no matter who makes them) that are trolling or causing flame-wars.


A pissed Leela


Posted by on May 16, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Talking = Soap opera?

First of all, sorry at those who commented on my last post here. I usually get a notification when someone makes a comment. I didn’t get that notification this time so I only saw your comments today. Very very sorry. I will start checking comments more frequently now.

Wall of text ahead:

I grew up in a family where you wouldn’t talk about the serious things.
It used to be like this:
If you wanted to tell something that happened at school / work you could tell about it. And the other person wouldn’t have a conversation with you. They would either listen and then move on or they would listen and then tell you what to do.
If there was an issue that you found important but the other person didn’t or they didn’t want to talk about it, you would be pushed aside along with the thing you wanted to talk about.
If you would insist at that point, you would be either bullied into shutting up or laughed about ( “Yeah haha, must be important, eh?” )
Serious talk was not something that would happen a lot.
Being talked at and being talked into the ground would happen and talking about fun things would happen too. But important mattes, no way.
A few example for such important thing would be school grades, emotional things, job situation, etc. You would briefly talk about it, but there would not be a solution and there would not be a long discussion.
Most things were just being brushed away, but always with the remark that “You can talk to me anytime, you know that, right?”

This was very normal for me and it might be very normal for a lot of other people.

Well imagine my surprise when I first met my husband.
We talked and talked and talked about everything. When the small talk topics ran out we moved on to the more interesting and serious things like politics, education, society. When these things ran out we started talking about ourselves and our pasts, which was an emotional rollercoaster for both of us.
And at some point, after we became a couple and had moved in together…

Well you see, my mind flipped from “friendship mode” to “family mode”. And talking about important things became impossible again. It was so deep rooted in me, I did not notice it.
I would react annoyed when I didn’t like another opinion, I would laugh when my (back then) boyfriend told me important things, I would be really odd to be honest.
It was always possible to talk reason into me and snap me out of this weird state of mind but I really had to learn to talk about things from scratch.

I always had this feeling, that if you talk about your negative feelings, it would equal soap opera babble and I never thought that my family would consider such feelings and take them serious instead of laughing them away.

My husband insisted on talking about things in a mature way though. I feel very grateful that he has been and continues to be so patient with me and my odd social …. “disabilities”.

Nowadays I can talk, very much thanks to my husband actually.
I can say things like “Honey, I really feel annoyed right now. It’s not about you, I need some alone time.” And I know that he will respect a statement like this, whereas back in the day, my family would never respect a statement like that.
He will respect me and my emotions always, in every situation. Be it a panic attack (which I have on rare occasion) or a complete “happy high”.

Learning that what I have to say is being heard and taken seriously was a very important step for me to learn to talk about things maturely instead of shutting up and crying into my pillow at night because there is nobody to talk available.
I feel very fortunate to have this kind of partner and friends who I can call family (see the family sub site). I hope very much that everybody who isn’t this fortunate, will find somebody to talk to and get over the feeling that talking about serious things equals soap opera.

Thanks honey!

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Posted by on May 15, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Weird thoughts of a bi-sexual

Yea… sexual content ahead – not explicit


If you are bi or a lesbian you might understand that.
I really want to do it with a woman… Yea…
Actually I have never had the chance to do it with a woman and then I got married to a man.
Well I had the chance a few times but I was too shy to … well… do it…
But a woman once touched my arm very nicely! ๐Ÿ™‚ I will not forget that moment because she was cute and she actually wanted more, just like me… you know… *lol I am even too shy to type this stuff out on my own blog*

I have talked about it to my husband, well mentioned it, that I would like to do it with a woman. But there wasn’t much of a reaction to it. I just don’t wanna go ahead and do it because that would be cheating.
We have talked about a threesome with a woman a few times. But so far, nothing.
(btw, yea, I am having straight sex. I just miss the lesbian part…)

What can I do in this situation apart from watching lesbian porn? It’s not the real thing, not even close. And a hooker is no option, sorry…




Any advice? It’s weird…


Posted by on May 9, 2014 in Uncategorized


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My followers :)

Today I just wanted to tell you something. Yes, every single one of you who is reading my blog posts!

I feel really honored and very happy that people actually read and enjoy what I write here.
I am a writer but I have never really tried to publish my own stuff. None of my stories ever made it because I am too shy to publish them. Just my work-writing has been published, and that stuff not even under my own name. I have no rights to what I wrote and published so far. Sucks a little but hey, I like writing so I keep writing ๐Ÿ˜€
This blog is pretty young, just a few months and it doesn’t have a lot of content yet. But I enjoy writing it so much.

With every new post, I gain either a new follower or a “like”. It is so nice to check my emails during the day and see that someone read something I wrote and liked it enough to express that in a way.

So that’s just a little “THANK YOU” for you guys!


Also feel free to comment or suggest topics you’d like me to write about. ๐Ÿ™‚

Cheers, have a good evening

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Posted by on May 8, 2014 in Uncategorized




With this header you might think that this is going to be a very difficult post.
Suicide as a topic has this heavy, burden-like feeling to it.
It is somewhat of a taboo topic. You just don’t talk about it, you don’t want to think about it.
It’s a sin in some religions to commit suicide.
People who do not follow a religion or any kind of belief system tend to find it too upsetting anyway.

Just try to ignore it away because it never has anything to do with oneself until it does.

I personally avoid having taboo topics. So let’s get into this a bit more:

I first thought about death when I was maybe 10 years old.
I didn’t even have a reason, it just came into my mind that one day my mom is going to be old and that old people die.
I asked my mom how it is to be dead and what comes after death.
She didn’t know, and she didn’t try to indoctrinate me too much with heaven-talk. She told me it would be like going to sleep but never waking up again.
Well, tell that to a child. Children hate sleeping. It’s worse than being grounded, right?
So yes, my first reaction was toย  be scared of death and I stayed scared of it for a long time.

Heads up, by now I am not scared of death anymore – at all.

Around the age when I asked my mom was when I became depressed. And I stayed depressed for almost all my live up until about two years ago. You know, you don’t just heal the depression. It is a blurry time when you get better.
Anyway, during that time I became quite suicidal.
Being suicidal never meant trying to kill myself constantly because that is usually not what it means at all.
I was suicidal for many years but I really tried to kill myself only once. And you see, I am still alive and I am fine. Understand that for me it seemed like the only way to solve my problems. That’s because I was so depressed that I saw no other way anymore. I thought I had exhausted every other way of solving my problems. In the end I found a way and now I quite enjoy living.

But not only suicidal people commit suicide.
There is this other type of suicide that I will call reasonable.
Have you ever thought about how and where your life is going to end?
When I was at that point I started researching what other people thought, what they did. I actually read a book on suicide methods. I watched documentaries and vlogs and read a lot. Until my hunger for knowledge was gone.
Some of the most important things I learnt while researching this:

  • People commit suicide for very valid reasons (e.g. terminal illness)
  • Some people are old and they don’t want to live anymore. They feel they lived and saw what they always wanted and they feel that it is time to go.
  • There are places (on in Switzerland) that offer legally assisted suicide and they perform in a very warm and loving way which includes family / friends.
  • There are books that explain suicide methods.
  • Suicide does not have to be ugly, cold, selfish, or disgraceful.
  • Suicide does not have to hurt either.
  • Some friends and family of people who commited “pre meditated suicide” told the story, and it was not heart breaking.

I know that you might not agree with me but I strongly feel that assisted suicide should be legal everywhere.
It is legal in some places and it’s not like suicide rates in those places are any different than in other countries as far as I know (tell me if I’m wrong though).
People do it no matter what. The difference is just: Will it be ugly or not?
If a person decides that they would like to end their life in a way, at a time, and at a date of their choosing, they should be granted this.
Can it be misused? Hell yes! But everything is being misused nowadays. The whole medical system is full of bad decisions.
Make it a process where the person has to be cleared by a trained doctor and where they will be repeatedly asked if they are sure that they want to do it up to the second before they do it.
But, I understand that our society is maybe not ready for a big step like this. People don’t want to accept that nothing needs to be wrong with you, if you wish to commit suicide. People don’t yet understand that it can be a very warm and loving experience for the family.
People’s thoughts usually stop at the bad news headlines and with this cold shudder on there shoulders, when there is so much more.
I know I am repeating myself at this point but I gotta say it one more time:
It does not have to be ugly and cold.

But just to clear this up.
I feel very much alive right now. I love living, I have many things I want to see and experience. I love being here and I plan on staying on this planet for many years to come.

Now, as always, when I post something like this, a few last things:

  1. Suicide shall never be your first choice or first thought to solve any of your problems.
  2. If you are depressed, please call a help phone. They are usually for free and you can talk to trained and lovely people there. They have resources for you.
  3. If you are suicidal and you really want to do it, please consider calling a suicide line. They are also for free and are also staffed with trained people. Do never – I say again NEVER – feel ashamed to call out for help! These people are there just for you, they are waiting for you to call, so do it. They know how to help you.

Numbers and contact details for suicidal people:

Phone: 1800 247 100 (free phone)
SMS: Text “Help” to 51444 (standard rate)

Phone: 1 800 273 8255 (free phone)

For adults: 0800 1110111 (free phone)
For children and teenagers: 0800 1110333 (free phone)

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Posted by on May 7, 2014 in Uncategorized


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