So I have been trying to lose weight for quite a while now. It worked really well last time. Within about half a year I had lost enough weight to go from an obese BMI to an overweight BMI and I was still on track towards normal weight when I moved back to Ireland.
Well what can I say. I love the food here and the fact that the supermarket is pretty much in front of my door adds to the fact that if I have a craving, I just have to fall out of my house and into the supermarket. In addition, I get free food and snacks and drinks at work. And that stuff is super tasty. They have a lot of very nice healthy options but I love carbs so since I started working there I gained all the weight back and let’s just add 2 kilos, why don’t you.
I still wanted to lose weight and I did make a few attempts but not a lot of success. I didn’t really have an objective, no purpose, nothing. I saw my body getting fatter, falling back into obese BMI and I wasn’t happy with that BUT my husband loves me and my body and although he doesn’t protest my weight loss goals, he isn’t bothered by my wobbly parts at all. I personally thought, “Hey, as long as I find clothes, things are fine!” and I didn’t want to have to resist all the nice things that I love so much. Little treats, all the fruit, a slice of pizza, some juice, etc. It’s too nice to say “No” to all of it.
Something changed now though.
I am 30.
Losing weight will only get more and more difficult the older I get. That’s just a fact.
I do want to get my happy weight back. That’s just a fact.
I don’t want to always check the biggest size in the shop. That’s just a fact.
These things were not enough for me to do it and stay on track with a weightloss regime.
This year in August, I will be at Gamescom again. I want to meet some people and I want to cosplay. I would like to make clear that no one has ever fat-shamed me. But I do want to be fit to walk around and party and just enjoy Gamescom to the fullest. I want to have enough energy left to go and explore Cologne in the evenings as well. I want to cosplay a character that shows some body and therefore my body really needs to shrink a bit.
Another thing is, completely away from Gamescom, I don’t enjoy sex anymore. My husband and I used to be very active in bed but the more weight I gained the less I wanted to. I don’t feel sexy at all. The nice lingerie that I have, right now looks ridiculous on me. I wanna fit in it again, feeling good in my body and in bed with my man.
So what now?
Last night I found myself checking out the ana diet plans that are out there. Yes, that is how desperate I was. And my mind was almost convinced to just do one of those to lose a lot of weight fast.
But there are lots of health issues with this and I don’t want to risk my health just to get thin.
Instead of an ana dietplan I decided to just eat less today and see if I am hungry. I wanted to see how much food I really need. I wanted to feel when my body said “give me more food” and then I wanted to list it all.
My initial idea was a food diary to just put in my head how much I actually eat in order to ask myself if I need all of it and to maybe identify faults. Faults like unhealthy snacks, too many carbs, etc.
So I sat down and listed all the food I ate today. I did this about two hours ago:
- 1 bread roll
- 1 slice ham
- 1 medium salad
- 1 treat
- 2 coffee
- 1 tea
- 3 7up free
- 1 Noodle pot
- 2 mandarines
I saw my list and got curious how many calories that might be because I didn’t feel hungry and it didn’t look like a lot of calories. So I roughly added the calories. Not exact but rounding numbers from memory etc.
- Joghurt – 100
- 1 bread roll – 80
- 1 slice ham – 20
- 1 medium salad – 150
- 1 treat – 60
- 2 coffee – 100 (sugar and syrup and milk)
- 1 tea – 20 (honey)
- 3 7up free – 0
- 1 Noodle pot – 440
- 2 mandarines – 80
Now I was at 1050 consumed calories in a day not feeling hungry. I had fruits and vegetables and proteins and carbs. I had my very sweet coffee and even a treat.
So I started researching. I have a weight goal to lose 25 kilos by August and I wanted to see how many calories I can eat if I want to accomplish that.
I had a rough 1000 – 1500 a day in my mind because I know I lose weight when I do 1500 and even more when I do 1000.
I googled around a little and had found one calorie calculator that wouldn’t spit out the numbers I wanted to check. It had me on 1200 a day but losing 25 kilos would have taken me until October or so.
So I checked more detailed one where I could play around with the numbers a little.
This calculator listed my daily calorie allowance week by week. It told me my target weight per week (roughly -1 kg per week) and it also told me how many calories I should eat to keep the weight of that week. So basically, if I am happy with my weight before I am done, I will still know how much I can have to stay on that weight.
So when I was done, I copied that down because the numbers all look doable to me.
Now I checked back on the number I had written down earlier. 1050 ish calories. Sweet! I actually ate next week’s allowance today.
I decided I will try this plan that I just made for myself and see how far I get with it. If I lose weight with it and keep my goals and objectives in front of my eyes every day, I will totally do it.
Wish me luck!