I just saw something on my Facebook wall.
“My favourite childhood memory does not pay bills”
And I got to think. First I was associating with this the profession I wanted to have. I always wanted to become a psychologist or “something with animals”. Never made it. Now I sit in a call center of a software company. Pays the bills though.
But it said “memory” there, so I thought of what my favourite childhood memory is and realized that it took me a few minutes to dig out some nice childhood memories. But there is no childhood memory that I could call my favourite.
I always liked when we made music together or when we would craft something at home. I liked when we would go to the zoo. I liked playing in the theatre club at school. I liked going to the choir. I loved animals and I loved to be left alone.
There are some very nice memories that I have. Not a lot mind me, my childhood was not very rosy. But I hold a few memories.
- My grandma would always put those Christmas candy and chocolates on the Christmas tree and I was always allowed to take one when I came for a visit. And I was allowed to turn the light on in the little nativity set.
- One year my mom put real candles on the Christmas tree. And she explained to me how to space them and where to put them and why we needed a bucket of water there. It looked beautiful. That year, Christmas was very nice over all.
- My dad never had much time to do fun things with me because he wasn’t around much but once he went on a hike in the forest with me. And we drank from a little tiny river there. The water was very clean and clear and I could see the colourful pebbles on the river bed.
- My dad also went fishing with me and I liked that a lot because I was allowed to swim in that lake as long as I would keep some distance to where he was fishing. And then he showed me how to swim on your back and how to clean out a fish.
But this is already all. There are other nice memories, yes, but they are all attached to something bad that happened that day because the bad that happened was my normal and usual. The rare thing would be a day without bad news and without a horrible fight or some mental abuse.
I am not saying this to whine. I had my ways to deal back then. It is simply to make this point that I find it so incredibly hard to find good memories that are not attached to something bad.
No one has a perfect life, I know. I just found it weird that everybody seems to have an easy time to remember lots of nice things from their childhood. So many in fact that it is possible to pick a favourite. And I have a list of exactly four purely positive memories.
Mind me, I am talking before teenage as we were talking childhood here. I would probably find one or two more memories if we added teenage years to this.