“You have come a long way”

28 Jun

“You have come a long way”

That’s what my husband said to me the other night.
We were having a conversation about a good friend who is having a little rough patch in his relationship. He was telling me some things and in the end I told him how it’s all a normal part of a relationship. I mentioned how my husband and I tend to fight over stupid little things sometimes or how we sometimes fight so much that we both go into complete shutdown. And nevertheless we are having a great relationship and love each other. Rough patches are a part of the package.

My husband got a bit quiet and then he said “You have come a long way” to me. And I think he is right.

When we met I was in a bad place. I didn’t care about anything anymore. I had met him online and moved in with him after only meeting him once. I left my country, carrying a package of problems and debts on my shoulders. Moved in with him, not knowing the language, not knowing if he is a crazy psychopath. I was unable to deal with negative things (trauma) so I got scared and cried every time he would just so much as speak in a serious tone (not even raise his voice).

And where am I now?

I see a future, I care about myself and my husband. I have plans and enjoy live and love. I am over all the bad things. I learned to deal with negative things and I am improving my social and emotional skills. It’s all on an upwards spiral if you like.

And you know what? It feels fucking great.

The things I learned since I met my husband:

  • I am entitled to an opinion
  • It is ok to be wrong sometimes
  • Having emotions is ok
  • Showing emotions is ok
  • Talking about problems is ok
  • Mistakes are ok if you learn from them
  • It is impossible to please everybody
  • Asking questions is good

I still need to work on a lot of things, because I simply never learned some of the things that come easy to other people. Small talk, smiling, dealing with new situations, dealing with new people, and much more but: Indeed, I have come a long way.

Being self-confident is really a great feeling. Try it for yourself 🙂

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Posted by on June 28, 2014 in Uncategorized


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