“You have come a long way”
That’s what my husband said to me the other night.
We were having a conversation about a good friend who is having a little rough patch in his relationship. He was telling me some things and in the end I told him how it’s all a normal part of a relationship. I mentioned how my husband and I tend to fight over stupid little things sometimes or how we sometimes fight so much that we both go into complete shutdown. And nevertheless we are having a great relationship and love each other. Rough patches are a part of the package.
My husband got a bit quiet and then he said “You have come a long way” to me. And I think he is right.
When we met I was in a bad place. I didn’t care about anything anymore. I had met him online and moved in with him after only meeting him once. I left my country, carrying a package of problems and debts on my shoulders. Moved in with him, not knowing the language, not knowing if he is a crazy psychopath. I was unable to deal with negative things (trauma) so I got scared and cried every time he would just so much as speak in a serious tone (not even raise his voice).
And where am I now?
I see a future, I care about myself and my husband. I have plans and enjoy live and love. I am over all the bad things. I learned to deal with negative things and I am improving my social and emotional skills. It’s all on an upwards spiral if you like.
And you know what? It feels fucking great.
The things I learned since I met my husband:
- I am entitled to an opinion
- It is ok to be wrong sometimes
- Having emotions is ok
- Showing emotions is ok
- Talking about problems is ok
- Mistakes are ok if you learn from them
- It is impossible to please everybody
- Asking questions is good
I still need to work on a lot of things, because I simply never learned some of the things that come easy to other people. Small talk, smiling, dealing with new situations, dealing with new people, and much more but: Indeed, I have come a long way.
Being self-confident is really a great feeling. Try it for yourself 🙂